The birthday in the Big Apple that just kept giving

The first week of June always seems to be a transition time in my life. That time of year always marks the end of school, the start of summer, first days of work, moving trips, new rent leases, and.... my birthday! 

I turned 21 somewhere between Wyoming and Ohio, probably on about hour 17 of my mom and I's cross-country trip to move me to the Buckeye State (the first time). I turned 22 two days after moving to Manhattan, Kansas, (the Little Apple). I drank a box of wine on my couch with Stones and went to my favorite college bar via teleconference with some of my dearest friends. I went to work the next day with a headache and wondered if I was really cut out for this whole moving-to-a-new-state-and-being-an-adult thing.

This year, I turned 23 in the other Manhattan, a loooooong way from Kansas. We were working about 100 miles outside New York City on a farm tour and my co-workers treated me to a night out on the town for my birthday.

That was the fanciest birthday dessert I have ever had -- a peanut butter chocolate mousse cake. I very eloquently described it as "chocolate pudding mixed with cake perfectly formed into a pile of goodness with flecks of really fancy, thinly sliced Butterfinger candy in it. With ice cream."

But my favorite part of the whole night wasn't the amazing dessert, or the jalapeno whipped potatoes, or the creamed spinach or the Certified Angus Beef brand Prime dry-aged-to-perfection rib eye... although all those items were fantastic. My favorite part was... the menu.

Thanks, BLT Prime, for loving your customers so much you want to educate them about beef cuts. An educated consumer is a empowered purchaser. Go ahead and empower yourself to love the beefy basics a little more here.

Later that week, I arrived home to Woo-town to this sweet little gift:

I've been in desperate need of new luggage for about two years now. The old set finally became intolerable when I started using a safety pin to try and zip it open and closed. My favorite group of Woo-town friends took pity on the deplorable state of my luggage and got my new set started. They're awesome like that.

Know who else I think is awesome?

Jessica Simpson. I know, everybody thinks she's real, real dumb. Maybe she is. But I have to appreciate a girl who will rock a "Real Women Eat Meat" t-shirt after picking up on Carrie Underwood's ex. And she makes shoes and handbags to die for... and now luggage to love. 

The next day, I got this little treat from Rhinestone Cowgirl: 

If you can't read the note, the jest of it is this: she wanted to buy me a birthday beer, but there happened to be about 1,000 miles between us. So bought six and mailed them instead. That's friendship.

 

Early the next week, Ms M surprised me with orange cake for a belated birthday breakfast. I just finished the last leftover piece day before last. I can't even begin to explain how amazing this super special orange cake is, but if I ever finagle the recipe out of her, I'll share it, and you'll love me (even more) for it.

 

Then THIS week (now a full two weeks after my birthday), DOD finally made good on a promise and made it into a fun little birthday treat. He's been raving about this irresistible ice cream that's made only in the Buckeye State pretty much since the day I moved here.

I really had my doubts that this ice cream could really be that much better than other ice creams. Let's be honest, I'm not exactly known for my refined palate... this is a girl who digs truck stop food and likens a dessert at one of NYC's finest steakhouses to "fancy Butterfingers."

But I must admit... this ice cream was fancy. It was delicious and perfect and amazing. I think I just reached a quota for nice adjectives in one sentence describing something to do with Ohio.  

Well done, Graeter's. You've made a believer out of me.  

Meanwhile, the time between June 3 and June 18 has been filled with balloons, cards and sweet phones calls from friends and family.

Today, I think I finally closed the books on the two-week celebration of turning 23.

I lovingly took the Jessica Simpson tags off my new luggage, stuffed it full and loaded it up in the beefy mini-van. I begrudgingly handed it off to a grumpy man with the TSA at the Cleveland airport. It arrived in Chicago with me this afternoon, scuffed and a little dirty, and I knew the party was over.   

The beefy basics, part II

May was Beef Month. May 28 was National Hamburger Day. Today is the second day of June. So why, you ask, is today the day I share the second episode of The Beefy Basics?

Well, quite frankly because I've been a terrible blogger lately. I've barely blogged more than once a week this whole month. I have so much to share right now my head is nearly exploding, but it turns out when I'm actually having a life, there is less time to write about it than times when I'm living in my PJ's talking to Stones more than human people on a regular basis.

You might remember, I started with blog with the intention pressuring myself into having a life and being an educational outlet for all the seemingly useless knowledge that jumbles around in my hear. Lately, it's been more of a personal gossip column. Sorry about that. Unless you are a reader who prefers senseless and sometimes pointless ramblings about my fabulous life -- In that case, sorry about the fact I'm about to cram more educational and important knowledge into your eye holes.

Remember last time I explained the basics of beef grading? I hope you read that one. I know, it was long and involved numbers and graphs instead of pithy jokes and fun pictures, but I swear it was a post full of valuable information. Today, I want to share the second part of the BEEF 509 course I took earlier this spring: the basics of beef cuts.

Here's a video from the American Meat Institute that pretty much sums it all up:

It's a little dry, but that video just summed up about three pages of writing in less than three minutes of simple video. You're welcome.

Why is this important? Well, when you're standing in front of the meat case dumbfounded by all the options, names and shapes, just image the sub-primal cuts and how those names are reflected in the individual cut names. Think through it logically and imagine this picture:

Beef that comes from the middle of the animal (rib and loin) are more tender and can be quickly cooked -- think grilling, broiling, etc. Those muscles don't get much exercise, so they are nice and tender (like me). Cuts that have names from the front and back of the animal (chuck, round and others) work a lot more. They are more muscular (like the Hulk) and do better in a slow cooker or as a roast. In short, I'm perfect just the way I am. The Hulk might need a little time or marination to tolerate.

Yes, that was a legitimate analogy.

In all seriousness, here are the points about beef cuts I want you to remember:

• The most tender cut of beef is the tenderloin. We cattle people are not trying to trick you, folks. 
• For the leanest cuts, look for the words round or loin in the name.
• There are 29 cuts of beef that are considered lean by the USDA. Yes!
• Remember in the beef grading basics blog when I described the standards for beef that meets the Certified Angus Beef(R) brand? Well, there are 24 cuts of CAB you can enjoy while staying lean, too. Yes! (fist pump) Yes!
• If you are looking for something with a more robust flavor, go with something like a ribeye (my favorite).
• Don't be afraid to ask the meat manager, butcher or chef if you don't recognize the name of a piece of beef. While we're not trying to trick you, sometimes marketers try to get jazzy and make simple terms fancy. Fancy = confusing. That's why they call PR "the dark side." Ask questions, because knowing what kind of cut you have is going to have a big impact on how you should prepare it and ultimately how much you enjoy that tasty little packet of protein.
• OR, check out this website: http://consumer.certifiedangusbeef.com/cuts/Default.aspx. It's a great starting place to help you understand the different cuts and cooking methods.  

Most importantly: if you are ever in a situation when you have the chance to learn about beef cuts first hand and break down a sub-primal, do it. It's a very cool thing to learn and do. But do not; I repeat: do NOT, think being this hot will prevent you from being clumsy with a very sharp knife:

Despite the hairnet, wrist guard, hard apron, cut resistant gloves and XXL frock, it is still possible to mistake your finger for a rib. If you mistakenly cut your finger instead of a rib steak, it bleeds a lot.

Sometimes, doing that will make you realize all the blood that is rushing out of your finger is coming directly from your brain. When all of your brain blood is gushing from your finger, this may lead you to faint in a meat lab. Sometimes it even takes a few minutes to wake up and remember where and who you are. Sometimes, you'll be one of only three girls in a class of 30 men and suddenly find yourself being viewed as the most stereotypical drama queen in the world.

Sometimes, a wound like that will make your finger swell and turn green and spurt blood for three days.

Sometimes, a camera phone photo with no flash doesn't do justice to how dramatic an injury really is.

That's all I have to say on that very hypothetical subject.