In the kitchen with 'tader salad

Welcome back to my kitchen. It's been a little sad and lonely lately. I've been spending too much time at Quiznos, the Lean Cuisine isle and truck stops, and my kitchen is starting to feel neglected. I'm sorry, kitchen.

Moving on.

Let me preface this post: I don't really like potato salad. I am, however, a big Ron White fan. Thanks to Hollywood Video's recent demise, I just got to add "They call me 'Tader Salad" to my collection for $3. I've wanted some 'tader salad ever since.

The one potato salad I have ever liked was found in south-central Kansas, at the home of the parents of an ex-boyfriend. His sweet mamma was kind enough to give me the recipe, so here it is:

If you can imagine, it starts with 'taders. Lots of them. Eight cups to be exact.

Then you boil them. Now, there were a couple parts of this recipe I was pretty excited about -- one of them being the fact that I finally had a reason to use the enormous cauldron I bought this winter. I bought it because it was pretty and matched the rest of my pots.

Surely, this will not be a waste of $30. I need a cauldron this big. It's perfect and red and pretty.

Since then, every time I have dug through my cabinets and cursed this enormous pot for taking up so much space, I have doubted the logic I used that day. Doubt no more... this pot was worth the purchase.

While the 'taders were boiling, I started assembling the dressing. This is why I am weary of potato salad... the things that go into the dressing have no appeal to me. Mustard? Gross. Vinegar? Gross. Condensed milk? Gross.

 Put it all together? Not gross. Good, in fact. I guess I'll put this in the same category as tomato juice and vodka: separately, they are gross. Together in a perfectly spicy bloody Mary? Delicious.

This is a combination of a 1/2 cup of sugar, 1/3 cup evaporated milk, 1/8 cup vinegar, 1 tsp. mustard and salt. Sounds gross, looks gross, smell gross. Tastes good. I can't explain it.

You'll also need to hard-boil four eggs. Then run cold water over the eggs and the 'taders to cool them.

This is the second fun part of the recipe. I really love peeling hard-boiled eggs. I don't know why; I just think its neat how they crackle and like the feel of the little shred of shell peeling off. I know, I need more hobbies... but peeling hard-boiled eggs is just a good time in my book.

THEN, I got to use this fun little egg-cutter. It's another kitchen appliance I bought because it was red and pretty and matched my kitchen. I've owned it for more than a year, and this was it's original cooking debut. Are you noticing a pattern? Yes, I am a little financially irresponsible.

 But how fun is this?! Three little presses, and the eggies were completely and perfectly sliced and diced. I don't care who you are, that's a good time.

 Throw it all in a big ol' bowl with 1/2 cup each of chopped onions and sweet pickle relish, and she-ZAM: 'Tader salad is born.

So here's to hoping the 'tader salad turns out better for the party guests than the relationship did for that boy... and to hopes that the party it is being made for doesn't turn out like a Ron "Tader Salad" White story.